I left Arizona with a wierd feeling of emptiness. I had no tearful goodbyes, but they were hard without being ultra dramatic. I will miss my close friends and family. I realized that as I was waiting in the terminal for my plane to take off. I had too much to do these last few weeks to even think about it, but in that terminal and on that plane I had plenty of time to reflect on how much I love my family and friends and will miss them.
My first night in Delhi--I paid too much for a taxi, a room with AC, and a taxi back to the airport, my meal in Chennai, and my internet right now. It feels like every Indian is out to get all my money! What a frustrating feeling. As I was lying on the not-so-comfortable bed trying to sleep through jet lag I thought, "What in the world am I doing here?" I didn't really have much of an answer--running away from making major life decisions, doing something hard so I can become a better and more patient person, and doing research to further an academic career I'm not sure I want to persue. They all seemed pretty pathetic excuses for spending 6-8 months in this country! I hope I can figure out why I am here. Why this country and this time. In the meantime I hope I can find what drew me to India in the first place.
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7 comments:
Maybe you'll marry an Indian boy!
:-)
I'm sure you will.
Liann! Hooray for internal self reflection beginning! I love it! I can't imagine what life is like right now or what temp it is or what smells are around you right now, but I know you're going to figure it all out with time. Just don't rush it. Just be . . . LOL! I mean really, that's what India is good for right? Are you ever going to regret taking this summer/fall and doing something you'll probably never be able to do again? And you're totally helping people out. P.S. I love Texas already and Lori is super chill (though we haven't had any 2 hour heart to hearts yet) and our apt is great! And I bought a GPS system so I can't get lost anymore - it's fabulous! I love you lots and I'll write soon - I need my Liannvalidator. :)
i love you my liann friend =)
Be brave Liann. I'm not scared for you. You are good at processing where you are and i think this will be no exception. Just do what you do, think it through... and if you can get any Little Women action over there, that might help! We had our first meeting with our new staff of 8!!! You know the two of them were thrilled to be the new big wigs... I just told them to give me data entry so I could do my own thing. the less contact the better. missed you though.
Oh, Liann. I know what you're going through. I finally stopped going to my crappy job in South Salt Lake, but now I'm unemployed and I ask myself hourly, "What did I just do?" but I have had two job interviews and a job offer (which I'm not going to take) but even thought I'm scared to death, I know that God knows what's I'm going through and no matter how old I get, He'll always take care of me. And He'll take care of you too. Just try to enjoy the journey. I'll try too :) Love and miss you!
I have faith in you. I know you'll be alright and love being there in the end. Plus, this is the time in life where we are supposed to be figuring things out. Not knowing is half the fun!
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