One of the more terrifying ways to die

I understand that the human race has come up with methods of torture that are more painful than I could ever imagine. But it seems to me that there would be purpose in the torture--something you are standing for, something you refuse to confess. I get that diseases like cancer can bring a slow and yet steady demise. But hopefully there is family there to provide love and support during those long days and painful treatments.

Over Christmas break I spent the 7 days on a cruise to the Mexican Riviera. One morning I was eating breakfast and overheard the people at the table behind me talking about a news report they had seen about a woman who had fallen off the side of a cruise liner in the middle of the night. It happened to occur on a Norwegian Cruise Liner (the same one I've been on) and apparently none of the guests knew about it until they got off at port and the FBI wouldn't let the woman's husband off. There was talk among the table as to whether the man pushed his wife off the balcony or not.

As I was first eavesdropping I also wondered if the man pushed his wife. That afternoon I walked around the promenade and thought about jumping off the side--not in a suicidal way. We were leaving port and the boat was carefully maneuvering out of the area. Men in fishing boats were waving to us from their anchored positions. And I thought it'd be pretty fun to jump off, kind of like cliff jumping.

The next night Aaron, Brandon and I were out on the promenade after a night of listening to the bar entertainment. A fellow cruise ship passed us--silently, like two ships passing in the night. :) I watched as the lights on the other cruise ship became smaller and smaller in the distance--so quickly--I never realized how fast we were moving. I was gripped then with the scene of that woman. Wet, a little confused after such a fall, spitting out salt water, gasping for air, clawing her way through the waves, heavy with soaked clothes, watching the boat, thinking for sure it would stop. Then as the reality sets in--the large cruise ship has no idea I'm not on it anymore. The recognizable boat quickly becomes just lights in the distance. I would feel so small bobbing up and down in that big ocean watching my "home away from home" leave me behind to die here in this salty sea.

What was she thinking about right then? So many possibilities at the end I suppose--a determination to live, an acceptance and a lonely farewell to the world, seething anger at her husband, sadness at opportunities soon to be lost, peaceful reflection on a life well lived, or maybe she was just too drunk to be thinking at all. What would I think about? What would I do?

The thought terrifies me. Brandon and Aaron were kind enough not to tease me as I shared my fear with them. I hope I never die by falling off a moving cruise ship.